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Showing posts with the label memory

Accounting for the Invisible

It is once more that time of year — the season for gathering documents, for preparing the annual offering to the revenue gods. Tedious, draining, bureaucratic. Yes, all of that. But it is also a curious interval of observation, a quiet adjustment of memory’s lens. After all, the past year — or at least its more tangible husk — lies partially inscribed in these papers. I say partially, for what is captured on the page is a witness of uneven fidelity. Absent are the details, the reasons, the delicate chain of responsibility. The numbers are all there: the income, the transactions, the movement of capital. But backstage remains hidden — the weight of effort, the hush of a conscience at peace. What is left is a pale suggestion of something more vital — this elusive current we call money. Energy transmuted, but only faintly traceable. A flicker of something once vivid, now flattened by ink and deadlines. And so I sift through the papers. Not merely to comply, but to remember. To...

Just Another Tuesday

I once asked a friend why he’d caused such a scene at a wedding — there’d been raised voices, a shattered glass, and an impromptu dance in the midst of someone’s speech. All rather out of character for a man usually so measured. His response caught me off guard. He gave a small shrug, his gaze drifting somewhere beyond the present, and said, quite plainly, — It was one of those things, you know? As if that were explanation enough. As if certain disturbances belonged to a category all their own — needing neither justification nor regret. I said nothing. There was, I sensed, a quiet truth in his words. Sometimes life swells beneath the surface, and when it finds no proper channel, it bursts forth — in laughter, in tears, in chaos — at a wedding, or on some otherwise forgettable Tuesday.

Invented Time

Time does not slip away — it waits. Motionless, silent, watching. You say you have no time, yet time is always there, staring back at you. What you lack is not time, but intent — the courage to claim it, to shape it, to own it before it owns you. Ah, this tired habit of blaming the clock. As though time were something outside of you, pressing in, closing doors, slipping through your fingers. But time does not run, nor does it flee. It is you who rush past. You who look away. You who declare it lost when it was never anywhere but here. And time? Time watches. It sees you filling the hours with what must be done, what should be done, what you were told must be done. And you say you cannot, that it is impossible, that you are too busy. But busy with what, exactly? With the things you choose — knowingly or not — over the things you claim to long for. Yet before the ticking, before the measuring, before the universe itself, there was no time. No hours, no days, no waiting. Only ...

Saudade: A Longing Unbound

I struggled with the word. It lingered, soft yet insistent, waiting to be understood. Deafening — yet silent. Sharp — yet delicate. Crude in its rawness, yet rich with meaning, as though it had carried the weight of centuries while remaining as fresh as the morning air. Saudade. It is not merely a word but a feeling that breathes within, settling beneath the ribs, winding through the marrow of the bones, pressing gently against the skin from within. A presence intricately woven from absence. A longing that does not mourn but remembers, does not grieve but honours. For saudade is not only about what was, but also about what might have been — the beauty of imagined possibilities, the tenderness of dreams not yet lived. And yet, it is a gift. However much it pulls at the soul, however much it calls us back. I could neither reject it nor escape it, for it had taken root in me, filling empty spaces with warmth rather than ache. The more I welcomed it, the more it flourished — not like ivy c...

Embracing Emotional Contrast

Any sensitive soul will feel discomfort when witnessing their plans and efforts retreat in the face of secondary factors beyond their control. How often does frustration arrive mercilessly, marking that moment with the weight of failure? The truth is, we are emotionally sentient beings who think. We recall our experiences more through our feelings than through objective facts. This is the human element of subjectivity. Despite being a natural occurrence, this same element gives contrast and meaning as life unfolds. And, since emotions have no expiry date, it is the moments we carry with us. It is an important baggage that defines experience. However, a word of caution is necessary here — it is extremely common to attempt to “outsource” pain. In an effort to cope with negative emotions, one may block any meaning associated with them. Unfortunately, it is convenient to remain captive to a narrative of passivity, as if saying, “That person only gets in my way,” “No one underst...

Beyond Possessions

When we stop to think about the direction our lives take, the first thought that often comes to mind is that many things could have been different. This is natural and an important reflection to have. It is entirely understandable to want to leave behind a meaningful legacy that represents who we are. Many people express this desire through the legitimate pursuit of a good home, a loving family, a car in the driveway, and so on. This is all perfectly normal. However, none of these things necessarily guarantee happiness or self-fulfilment. Ambition can be a useful emotion, of course, particularly when it concerns survival or comfort. The problem arises when a person becomes an insatiable hunter — forgetting to truly share life with others. It is striking how often those who have so much end up feeling as if they have nothing — despite a successful career, a brand-new car, and an esteemed academic background. On the other hand, some people find abundance in having little — pe...