The Hyggelig Journey

Life is not just an equation to be solved. In fact, life is no equation at all. Because living escapes any exact calculation, it slips through the fingers, vanishes into corners. What remains? What disappears? I don’t know. But there is a point where everything converges: what we love, what we know, what the world needs, and what keeps us standing. The Japanese call it ikigai – a beautiful name for something that often has no name. And where do we find this point? Is it in a sudden flash of enlightenment, a spark in the middle of the day? Or is it built slowly, like someone stitching their own skin without realising it? I know that some spend their whole lives searching and never find it – perhaps because they expect a bright light, a visible sign, a message written in the sky. But purpose does not shout. It whispers. And one must be silent to hear it. Childhood tells us we can be anything. But time, oh, time... it narrows us, prunes our excesses, fits us into moulds. Work...

I do not get lachrymose so often. Med school taught me to be as gentle as possible, whilst cold enough to not fall apart when someone dies. Still, what people see is not what happens inside my mind. I fight the good fight, the one against bad habits and instincts. Sometimes, I fail miserably. Sometimes, I win myself for another day. Recently I started to improve my acupuncturist skills at a fast pace, learning new methods once I thought nontangible; trying is part of the good fight that keeps me onward. I even bought a book in Italian that, like a collegian often does, I need to read with the aid of a dictionary. It is hard, it is challenging, but it is uplifting. That is how I cope with my own insanity. I study, I pray, I cry… but nobody else will notice, not because I am shy, which I am, but because I’ve been learning to cry from the inside. I am not a sad person. I am not exactly happy either. I am a student; that is how I see my journey on this planet. I do hate when I cannot help ...