Hidden Patterns

It is always fascinating to distinguish between what we do on a whim, without much thought, and what we do repeatedly, often without realising it. Many of our actions are not deliberate choices but secondary reactions, shaped by patterns we seldom notice.

Take, for instance, a simple decision to try an ice lolly with an unusual flavour — nothing remarkable in itself. But if you find yourself needing to consult Google, your pet, and a set of divination beads before making such a choice, then it’s worth asking whether this is part of a deeper behavioural pattern.

The truth is, we rarely recognise our own habits. They are often glaringly obvious yet invisible to us. This is because our attention is drawn to what is in the foreground of our awareness, while the forces at work in the background remain elusive, shaping our actions in ways we do not fully understand.

Consider insomnia as rebellion. You may feel powerless over your daily life, as if time is slipping through your fingers. Even when exhaustion sets in, you delay sleep until the last possible moment — not out of necessity, but as an unconscious act of defiance.

Or take the person who spends the entire day biting their tongue, suppressing frustration, enduring rudeness. When they finally return home, they release all that pent-up tension in a storm of irritation. This is the phenomenon of the domestic tyrant — a displacement of unexpressed emotions onto those closest to them.

Some of these patterns align with clinical syndromes, but not all are so neatly classified. Most people go through life, repeating the same cycles day after day, without ever questioning the deeper motivations behind their actions. Unfortunately, much of this unconscious behaviour manifests as pain, frustration, and unresolved trauma — not only for the individual but for those around them as well.