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Living with Awareness

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Every so often, I come across a pre-university student who already possesses a well-developed sense of emotional intelligence. Unlike most, they don’t need an explanation of why emotions influence academic performance — they have already learnt this through personal experience, observation, or reflection.

Without even realising it, they have grasped an essential skill that will be invaluable in adulthood, helping them navigate personal and professional challenges with greater ease.

However, the reality is that few people develop strong emotional self-awareness. This is not due to a lack of intelligence or capacity but simply because they have never made a habit of observing their own inner world.

Many go through life without paying attention to their emotions or understanding how these feelings shape their thoughts, behaviours, and decisions. As a result, they struggle to recognise how emotions influence their professional success, personal relationships, and ability to interact meaningfully with others.

A fundamental shift occurs when you learn to identify what you are feeling and why. With this awareness, you begin to understand how your emotions affect your actions, sometimes propelling you forward and at other times holding you back.

Whether emotions help or hinder you depends largely on how you respond to them and how you manage your interactions with those around you. Instead of being controlled by your emotions, you develop the ability to use them in a way that serves you.

Beyond self-awareness, there is also a practical dimension to this understanding. When you become attuned to how others perceive you, you gain the ability to refine your self-image in a way that aligns with reality.

This allows for a more accurate and constructive sense of identity:
“They assume I am like this, but in reality, I am quite different.”
“I am not like this now, but I have the capacity to develop this trait.”

This is not about suppressing or ignoring your true self but rather about integrating self-knowledge with external perception to create a more balanced and effective sense of self.

This clarity leads to a deeper understanding of both your strengths and your limitations, which, in turn, fosters a more grounded and realistic self-confidence.

Instead of basing your self-worth on assumptions or external validation, you develop a clear, practical awareness of your abilities:
“I can do this because I have been trained for it.”
“I have encountered a similar situation before; we can analyse how it was handled.”
“I am unfamiliar with this, but I know who to turn to for guidance.”

These insights allow you to approach challenges with a sense of competence and resourcefulness, rather than fear or hesitation.

This level of awareness connects and strengthens three key forms of intelligence: emotional, intrapersonal, and interpersonal.

  • Emotional intelligence helps you regulate and harness your feelings productively.
  • Intrapersonal intelligence enables you to understand yourself deeply.
  • Interpersonal intelligence allows you to navigate social interactions with greater skill.

Together, these three elements bring clarity to your values, reinforce your sense of purpose, and empower you to make more decisive and informed choices.

Moreover, this awareness fosters authenticity. When you understand yourself at this level, you naturally communicate with greater sincerity and conviction.

Your words and actions align with what truly matters to you, making it easier to express your thoughts, set boundaries, and articulate your desires with confidence.

Ultimately, emotional self-awareness is more than just a tool for self-improvement — it is a foundation for a more intentional, fulfilling, and successful life.

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